Keys to a Happy Life, Part II, Keys 6-10

Key #6 is Friendship. People with friends are happier. Social relationships are important.
My friends are gifts from God. They rejoice with me during good times and help me with
love, prayer, and emotional support during bad times. A true friend cannot be bought with
money. To have a friend one must be a friend. My friends have offered pearls of wisdom
and a listening ear. They have spoken truth to me in love, melted denial and resistance,
and enabled my personal growth.

Key #7 is Marriage. Married people are happier than singles. A good marriage can have
permanent positive effect. And, people who are less happy to begin with can get a
bigger boost from marriage. According to the Bible, he who finds a mate finds a
good thing. From the creation of Adam, God declared it was not good for man to
live alone. And for such, a man shall leave his mother, a woman leave her home, and
the two become as one. In this miraculous unity, the giving of their lives and love to
each other, is manifest. I have found marriage to be a process of becoming, not of
completion or perfection.

Key # 8 is Faith. Faith is linked to happiness because faith gives meaning and purpose
to life. How can I live without faith? It was my rural, ancestral Baptist Church, in
Arkansas, that impregnated me with the concept of faith in God. This faith helped me
survive the caste system of segregation in the south. This body of believers was the
first to believe in me, along with my family, that I could achieve and succeed. They
had faith in me. The Bible teaches that faith is the substance of things hoped for, the
evidence of things not seen, And, without faith, it is impossible to please God,
through Jesus Christ who is the author and finisher of our faith. My faith has been
an anchor amidst the storms of life, bringing comfort in times of grief, encourgagement
when discouraged, and patience out of impatience. When my parents died, I relied
on God's pre-assurance that those who mourned shall be comforted. And so it was.

Key # 9 is Charity. People who give to others are happier because giving makes
you feel good and happy people are more likely to give. Kahlil Gibran, the Lebanese
poet, wrote you give but little when you give of your money; it's when you give of
yourself you truly give. Giving of myself and money produces happy feelings within
me.When I volunteer at the nursing home or perform a random act of kindness
God smiles upon the world.

Key #10 is Age. Older people are happier because they worry about less and set
goals within their limits. Worrying less and setting attainable goals is a lesson all
ages in our society can learn and benefit from. While stress is a normal part of
life, flexibility in the face of change and challenge leads to creative control.

Since I have only one brief life, it would be good to get it right, to discern
my purpose. Rick Warren in the Purpose Driven Life leaves no doubt. I am not here
to pursue happiness or ego-satisfaction in terms of the ten keys cited in the Reader's
Digest's article. But to live a life of intention in relationship to God. Without God,
writes Warren, life has no purpose and without purpose life has no meaning.
Without meaning, life has no significance or hope. We are messengers of God's
love and purpose in the world.

Another way of discerning our purpose is put forth in the Road Less Traveled by
M. Scott Peck: As new life forms of God, we are able to influence the world
through our conscious decisions and become agents of God's grace, working
on  his behalf, and creating love.

The seed for my purpose was planted, while a child, visiting the sick and dying
with my mother. The seed would germinate into a career as a medical social worker.
The life of service to others, especially working with the terminally ill, in Hospice,
has brought the most fufillment as God's agent.  It is this experience that taught me
how to be a  compassionate servant, walking each day with the person in their
stages of approaching death, their grief, physical and psychological pain, without
losing hope. But steadfast that death is just a door into eternity.

Psychologist Abraham Maslow speaks to our hierarchy of needs and tie our purpose
into meeting these needs from basic security to self-actualization. Erik Erikson
writes about developmental tasks to be mastered during each psycho-social stage
of growth. Maslow and Erikson are not in conflict in helping us understand
ourselves as individuals. But when it comes to seeking personal meaning and
purpose, the difference between them and Rick Warren is in the starting place.
The psychologists start with the ego or self and our self-worth. Rick Warren
starts with God as the meaning and purpose of our life, and the premise it is
not about us.

My personal computer banner is Participate in the Great Symphony of life. That
says a lot about my desire to participate in the expansiveness and synchronous
of life. As I write the final chapter of my life, I should like to look back, according
to Erikson with a sense of integrity versus despair of a life well-lived and well-done.
I do not want to stand in the face of death and despair for the things I have done
or not done. Aristotle said an unexamined life is not worth living.

So back to my beginning question. Is a happy life, a meaningful life, a purposeful life
the same? Not necessarily. But it can be if we live a life of loving God and others.
It is not a life for self. But about doing good, ministering to the needs of others
as was the character of Jesus on the earth.

Rick Warren's The Purpose Driven Life has given me good directions for my
spiritual journey. The directions are believing through worship, belonging through
fellowship, and becoming more like Jesus through discipleship. I am no longer in
the fog about my purpose. I have a holy call without being a prophet, preacher,
teacher, spiritual healer. I am made for God's purpose. I have the gift of faith to
share, the gift of worship to glorify God. And, I chose the ministry
of Social Work.

Sources:

Erickson, Erik H., Joan and Kivnick, Helen G., Vital Involvement in Old Age.
New York: Norton, 1986.
Holmes, Bob, Kleiner, Kurt, Douglas, Kate, Bond, Michael, 10 Keys to True
Happiness, Reader Digest, March, 2004, pp.96-101.
Maslow, Abraham H. Toward A psychology of Being.
Miezejeski, Thomas J. The Meaning of Life, Brookside Books, Toms River,
New Jersey, 2002.
Peck, M. Scott, The Road Less Traveled-A New Psychology of Love, Traditional
Values and Spiritual Growth. New York: Simon and Schuster, 1978.
Warren, Rick, The Purpose Driven Life, Grand Rapids, Michigan, Zondervan, 2002.