Mom Taught Me How To Become The Person I am Today

                                         Growing up as the only child, my mom and
                                          I shared a special relationship of 67 years.

                                          This is not uncommon since women tend
                                    to outlive men, and the longest relationship a
                                    woman is likely to have is with her mother. "One
                                    of every three women who celebrate a 60th
                                     birthday will have a mother who is still alive,"
                                     according to Vern Bengston, gerontologist at the
                                     University of Southern California.

                                           My mom taught me many valuable life
                                       lessons, and made me the person I became. I
                                       learned to work by her side and to give a full day's
                                       work, even if the wages were unfair. I learned
                                       responsibility and the work ethic. Through church
                                       attendance, I learned about God and self-
                                       discipline, even if the sermons were boring (as
                                       they sometimes were). By helping with the
                                       cultivation of the vegetable garden and canning in
                                       the fall, I learned about nature and the future,
                                       which depended on the harvest. I also learned to
                                       appreciate the order of the universe by getting up
                                       to watch the sunrise.

                                             The best gifts my mom gave to me were
                                       unconditional love and daring to stand her ground
                                       and say "no" when my pleas and whines were not
                                       in my best interest. I did not know it at the time.

                                            One of my best memories is my 76 year-
                                       old mother tenderly caring for her 95-year-old
                                       mother. It is an image that will always remain in
                                       my memory. It was a bittersweet moment. It
                                       reminded me of the distance the two had traveled
                                       together and how near their their journey's end.
                                       My mother was my role model on how to
                                       care for one's mother. And both my mother and
                                       grandmother were role models for me on how to
                                       live independently with dignity and purpose in
                                       widowhood.

                                       My relationship with my mom was strong,
                                     enduring, and adaptable. Over the years, it
                                     changed from adult-and-child, to adult-to-adult,
                                     and occasionally reversed roles as she aged. But
                                     mutual love and respect were the glue that held it
                                     together.